Saturday, May 24, 2014

My Top 10



MaximYou voted, we counted, and the rest is supersexy history. From mind-bogglingly seductive supermodels to Hollywood’s most awe-inspiring actresses (with a bevy of beauties in between), the women of 2014 make up a roster so undeniably breathtaking you may get light-headed just reading it. 
Pick up the June issue of Maxim on newsstands to see even more pics of these gorgeous list-makers.

So Maxim came out with their list of the top 100 sexiest women alive. Supermodel Candice Swanepoel topped the list followed by actress Scarlett Johansson, singer Katy Perry, supermodel Irina Shayk, and actress Jennifer Lawrence. Zooey Deschanel, Alessandra Ambrosio, Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis, and Cara Delevingne round out the top 10. Some of those I agree with, but I decided I'd come up with my own top 10. My list might end up being a combination of people that I may just be in love with as well as just straight smokeshows. 

10. Taylor Swift 


Sorry, I just had to. I think everyone that knows me knows that I love Taylor Swift. I don't even think she was on Maxim's list, but I had to. She's so perfect, I should probably just move her up to number 1, but there are some other hotties on the list. I just don't get how you can't be in love with T-Swift. She defines sexy in my mind even if she is the whitest dancer on the planet and loves to wave her hair around. It's what makes her Tay.

9. Miranda Kerr


Miranda Kerr is so sexy, it's unreal. She's my second favorite Victoria's Secret model (favorite coming up) and I love following her on Instagram (@mirandakerr). She's got an incredible smile (just look at it) to go along with that amazing body. Number 23 I think is definitely too low for her on Maxim's list. She easily makes my top 10 here at number 9. Definitely a smoke.

8. Alessandra Ambrosio


And here's my favorite Victoria's Secret supermodel. I actually have her one lower than Maxim, but whatever. She's hot as fuck and I've always thought she's been underrated among society. No one ever talks about her and yet clearly she's one of the sexiest women alive. People that analyze these things have probably always recognized her, but I've never heard anyone talk about her. She's definitely one of my faves.

7. Selena Gomez


Just something about this chick does something for me. Sucks that she was banging Bieber for so long, but she's still unbelievably hot. Seems like she's got a bit of a slutty side, but it seems like there's still a little bit of innocence there too. 

6. Scarlett Johannson


Scarlett is one of those actresses that you just peruse through IMDb looking to see if she's been in any good movies that you can watch just to lust after her. I honestly can probably name maybe 2 or 3 movies that ScarJo is in, but I've considered lowering my bar just to watch her in some shitty movie. I don't know if they're shitty movies, the summaries just usually sound shitty. Doesn't make her any less hot.

5. Mila Kunis

 

Everyone loves Mila. It took me a while for me to get on the level of considering her in my top 10, but she's definitely there now. She is so sexy, just look at this picture. She's amazing. Besides her body and her overall good looks, she's a pretty good actress and has a cute and sexy smile. How do you not love her?

4. Jennifer Lawrence


Well I guess Jennifer Lawrence is everyone's go-to chick these days. She's got the whole world goin crazy and I'm kinda in on it too. Her hotness alone doesn't get her to my number 4 spot, but she's absolutely hilarious and I think that's sexy as fuck. Silver Linings Playbook was my shit and the Hunger Games and Catching Fire are both badass movies too. I'm in love with J-Law.

3. Brooklyn Decker


Why go crazy over Kate Upton when Brooklyn Decker is still alive? I think she's way hotter with just as big you-know-whats. I've loved Brooklyn ever since the first time I saw her in the fir SI Swimsuit edition I received in like 2008. She got the cover in 2010, appeared in one more, and then kinda vanished from the modeling scene almost. I mean, I guess she and Andy Roddick are set for life, but it sucks for us other guys who want to look at her half naked in magazines.

2. Rihanna


Gotta have a black girl, right? I put Rihanna this high up though for much bigger reasons than just needing some diversity on the list. I'm in love with her. Just like a lot of these chicks. But I really love Rihanna. Have you ever had a conversation with someone (a white someone, that is) who insists that they wouldn't fuck a black chick because it's just not their thing? They say they aren't racist, they just only are attracted to white women. And then someone will say "not even Beyonce?" automatically. Well I think the automatic black chick mentioned in that conversation should change from Beyonce to Rihanna. Beyonce isn't even close to being on my top 10 because she sucks, and Rih is a god damn goddess. She is one sexy chick and there is absolutely no doubt about it. It's the fact that I'm in love with her that she's so high on my list.

1. Katy Perry


God, just look at her in her sexy little jungle number she's got on here. I guess that's not even the sexiest picture you can find of Katy Perry, but I love it. And I love her. I'm so in love with Katy Perry, it's not even funny. I mean I just rambled on a shit ton about Rihanna and she's not even number 1, so that must mean Katy Perry is something special. And she is. I think I've thought Katy Perry was the sexiest woman alive since "I Kissed A Girl" and it was further encouraged by the "Teenage Dream" days. Now this sexy thing she's got on for "Roar" turns me on. Everything she does is perfect, she can't be any hotter, and her breasts couldn't be any more perfect. I feel like I have to say "breasts" instead of "tits" or something just out of respect for how amazing Katy Perry is.

Okay. My ranting is over. These are some attractive women whichever way you look at it. My love for some may have gotten in the way a little bit, but I don't give a fuck.


P.S. Katy Perry and Rihanna also have some like awesome lesbo friendship thing going on too, which makes both of them that much hotter.

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