Thursday, December 4, 2014

Dude Attacks His Wife with a McChicken


SourceDES MOINES, IA (CNN) - In Iowa, a man has been charged with domestic assault after he threw a McChicken sandwich at his wife.

According to the police report, Marvin Ellis, 21, was awakened from a nap by his wife who gave him a McChicken sandwich.

Ellis said he didn't want the sandwich and threw it at his wife, according to the police report.

Ellis then began to record the incident when his wife then knocked the phone out of his hand, scratching him.

Once police arrived on the scene Ellis was arrested and taken into custody on charges of domestic simple assault.



I've been flip-flopping on this ever since I read it, so I'm gonna give two takes on this story. One way to look at it is that the wife was just being an awesome wife. Who doesn't want a wife that'll share her McChicken with you? You fall asleep on the couch so she figures she can go get some food and wake you up in a little bit. What better way to wake up from a nap than with a McChicken waiting for you? Strange that Marvin took such offense to it. No need to throw it at her.

However, if this guy was enjoying a nap, let him enjoy it. No harm in waiting a little while to eat. No one really likes waking up from an awesome nap. Don't wake me up and shove food in my face just cause you're hungry. 

Bottom line is that I think if your wife is nice enough to go get you McDonald's, you should probably just go ahead and eat it. You don't have to act like a bear getting woken up in the middle of his hibernation. Maybe you'd rather be sleeping, but if you're gonna get woken up at least you have a McChicken there. Consider yourself lucky that your wife is allowing you to eat McDonald's and not calling you a fat ass and telling you to lay off the shitty food.

Even though this was technically "domestic violence" this is laugh out loud funny. This isn't a Ray Rice incident. This is a dude saying "no" to a McChicken and throwing it at his wife. Just picturing that happening is pretty darn funny.



P.S. I know I said I was flip-flopping, and my one point about letting a man nap still stands, but now I'm pretty much 99% sure that this chick should be up for Wife of the Year.

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